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Bedazzling Is Back!!

Hello good people. I wanted to share something that I learned during our Miami trip for WMC. Let me start off by saying that this was my first trip to Miami, so I had some preconceived notions of what Miami was all about (fake tans, fake boobies, fake eyebrows, real palm trees, ridiculously priced drinks, girls with "Daddy Issues" clinging onto muscle-bound dickfaces who have no self-esteem either, Bentleys, bubble gum paint everywhere, lots of gay dudes, CSI, cocaine, Euro-trash sunglasses, shitty club music, Hulk Hogan, bleach blondes... you feel me). While most of them were true, I also discovered a hidden secret about Miami... grown men and women Bedazzle their clothes down there!! For real, and we're talking about your typical steroid-addicted, fake tan-havin', muscle-bound football shitheads that you see in the club with a large group of other shitheads with little- to-no rhythm.

If you are not familiar with Bedazzling let me show you...

Okay. So, these dudes wear Bedazzled jeans, Bedazzled shirts, Bedazzled shoes, Bedazzled sunglasses, Bedazzled belts... For real!! What!? How did this shit catch on? I thought teenage girls were the only people who were amazed by "shiny things" and felt the need to make all there belongings "shiny" and "pretty". This is just beyond me.

This is just one of many reasons why ya boy Turbo does NOT fit in in Miami!!! I like my jeans blue, my belts leather, my shirts T, and my ass BEDAZZLE-FREE!!!
Wednesday, April 08, 2009

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