Bandit Life: Posted by JW

I consider myself quite the frequent flyer...a jet setter of sorts. I've become accustomed to the general bullshit that comes along with opting to hop a plane rather than grinding it out behind the wheel - airport security, lack of leg room, delays, turbulence, luggage fees, etc. I can't say much of it gets to me anymore BUT on rare occasion, all of the possible fuckery aligns and makes for a "first" in the world of airline travel...

Weeks ago I traveled to Cannes for the MIDEM conference. The main flight was around 8 hrs from CHI to Zurich...despite the 4 hr delayed flight it was smooth sailing (time flies when you have your own in seat entertainment system loaded with cheesy Hollywood action flicks). I arrived in Zurich with a few minutes to spare to catch my connection to Nice...a 40-minute flight should never be an issue but shit started immediately when I sat down next to homie...

(Pretty good shot of dude for being so secretive w my camera, huh?)

Dude was breathing crazy heavy under his mask and his eyes kept buggin out like he was gonna have some type of seizure...how'd he even get on this flight?! While I was trippin on dude potentially getting sick on me, there's this screaming child kicking the shit out of my seat directly behind me. Now a crying kid on a plane is old news and can usually be drown out with headphones and a decent volume level...not this little bastard. Think of the worst possible noise you've heard, multiply it by 3 or 4 and add some constant thumping to the middle of your back. You could tell his mother was trying to restrain him and get him to shut up but nothing was working and he finally escaped her clutches and hid UNDER MY SEAT!! He was still screaming and now he'd gotten the attention of all the women working on the plane who were all huddled in the aisle trying to devise a plan to lure him out.

At this time the volume on my iphone is all the way up, homie next to me is trippin even harder dozing off leaning his head towards me and that's when the little demon under my seat chose to make his real move...I felt a hand on my ankle and looked down and the screaming beast was trying to bite on my leg!! I instantly pulled my legs up on the seat and tried taking some flicks of this kid but he pulled his head back under the seat like a turtle retreating to his shell. This must have sparked a genius idea with the planning women bc they came back with multiple candy bars and started dangling them down by the floor saying "choc-o-late? choc-o-late?" He snagged one piece of candy and then his mother finally was able to grab his arm and pull him out where he continued to scream in between stuffing all types of sugar into his mouth.

(this is the best action shot I could get...that's the mother trying to lure him out w candy)