Bedazzling Is Back!!

Hello good people. I wanted to share something that I learned during our Miami trip for WMC. Let me start off by saying that this was my first trip to Miami, so I had some preconceived notions of what Miami was all about (fake tans, fake boobies, fake eyebrows, real palm trees, ridiculously priced drinks, girls with "Daddy Issues" clinging onto muscle-bound dickfaces who have no self-esteem either, Bentleys, bubble gum paint everywhere, lots of gay dudes, CSI, cocaine, Euro-trash sunglasses, shitty club music, Hulk Hogan, bleach blondes... you feel me). While most of them were true, I also discovered a hidden secret about Miami... grown men and women Bedazzle their clothes down there!! For real, and we're talking about your typical steroid-addicted, fake tan-havin', muscle-bound football shitheads that you see in the club with a large group of other shitheads with little- to-no rhythm.

If you are not familiar with Bedazzling let me show you...




Okay. So, these dudes wear Bedazzled jeans, Bedazzled shirts, Bedazzled shoes, Bedazzled sunglasses, Bedazzled belts... For real!! What!? How did this shit catch on? I thought teenage girls were the only people who were amazed by "shiny things" and felt the need to make all there belongings "shiny" and "pretty". This is just beyond me.



This is just one of many reasons why ya boy Turbo does NOT fit in in Miami!!! I like my jeans blue, my belts leather, my shirts T, and my ass BEDAZZLE-FREE!!!

It's a hard life, but somebody has to live it.

"If love is like a rose, I have found my bouquet."

"Love is like a box of chocolates... my mom taught me to share."

Turbo Blog Post #1 "Stanky Legg"

So this is my first blog post to date. I'm going to be playing around with ideas until I settle into something so, bare with me people. I can assure you that whatever I end up doing, it will be much better than these other boring posts that you all have had to deal with since the launch of Bandit Life. I apologize for what you all have had to endure.

Okay so we all are familiar with Soulja Boy's breakout hit (with a dance to match), "Crank Dat Soulja Boy". This was a new low in music. The track was shamefully elementary and well, just bad, "bing, bong, bing".... I mean, come on man. Not to mention Soulja Boy's hilariously indecipherable, half retarded lyrics reminiscent of a spoiled little kid whining to his parents while on some sort of sedative. The worst thing about the Soulja Boy phenomenon is just how big it got. I mean people, they played that shit at damn near every football game last season. I saw a family on TV at a game singing it in unison, "now super-soak that hoe!".... really!? Do you idiots even know what you're repeating? The real question is who the hell approved that song to be played for a family event like a football game? I mean what was the conversation?... "Uh yeah, that's fine. Don't worry about the super soaking them hoes line. No one will know that he is referring to ejaculating on a hooker. It'll be fine."... The sad thing is that is was, obviously... wow America, give yourselves a big pat on the back.

The latest saga in the "dumbest song with a dance to it" craze is... drumroll..... GS Boyz's "Stanky Legg". TADA!!

Ok... where do I begin? First of all I think this is hilarious... but not like in a- "we're laughing with you" type of way.

Just watch this and we'll talk below when you're done.





Wow. Amazing right!? I really, really want to know what the origin of this phrase "stanky leg" is. I'm assuming someone in their little school yard crew had a smelly leg at some point...? You tell me. The strangest thing is that they decided to stick with that playground phrase to record a single, with a dance... and of course, a music video. I mean who is paying for this stuff? "Yeah man, I'll shot your music video for your new single, "Do Tha Stanky Legg". Sounds Like a smash hit!" Wow. Don't forget here people, this is a real video and someone really paid for it.... for real. Moving on...

Ok, is this dance not a little on the sunny side of the street, if you know what I mean? Dude is snappin his fingers back and forth in the air like fucking Rupaul! Seriously. Also I'm still not quite sure what, "Now Hit The Booty Doo!" actually means. Are we talking about punching poop that came out of the booty? ... "Hit The Booty Doo"... come on that's what that means right?

Last but not least, why are the words constantly flashing at you? I know, I know. To put it in your head, like they don't repeat the same three lines for 3 minutes!!! Well.... mission accomplished evil music destroyers. You got me.


DO THE STANKY LEGG!!!!!!

Ghetto Pope Makes An Appearance

On Halloween @ Kings of Leon Afterparty @ Kinetic Playground.